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Let Him Who Is
Without Sin
Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a
woman to stone her and approached them. "What's going on here, anyway?" he
asked. "This woman was found committing
adultery and the law says we should stone her!" one of the crowd responded.
"Wait," yelled Jesus, "Let he who
is without sin cast the first stone."
Suddenly, a stone was thrown out
from the sky, and knocked the woman on the side of her head.
"Aw, c'mon, God ... " Jesus cried,
"I'm trying to make a point here!"
WE NO LONGER NEED YOU
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked
him, "What's wrong, Adam?"
Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.
God thought for a minute and then said that He was going to make Adam a
companion and that it would be called a "woman."
Jesus said, "This person will
gather food for you, cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she'll wash
it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear
your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take
care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she
was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and
will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it."
Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"
God replied, "An arm and a leg."
Then Adam asked God, "What can I get for a rib?"
And the rest is history.
-the other side of the story.
EVE
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve
calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all
of these wonderful animals, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I'm lonely. And, I'm sick to death of apples!"
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"What's a 'man', Lord?"
"This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous
ego, and an inability to empathize or listen to you. All in all, he'll give you
a hard time. But, he'll be bigger and faster and more muscular than you. He'll
be extremely gifted at fighting and hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not all
that bad 'in the sack' if you know what I'm saying."
"That sounds wonderful," says Eve, with curiosity.
"Yes, well, he's better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick... Eve, you
can have him on one condition."
"What's that, Lord?"
"You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."
THE ONE
DOLLAR BILL
A one dollar bill met a 20 dollar
bill and said, "Hey, where've you been? I haven't seen you around here much."
The twenty answered, "I've been
hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship,
back to the United States for awhile, went to a couple of baseball games, to the
mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?"
The one dollar bill said, "You
know, same old stuff, church, church, church."
Thank you Jesus for today and everyday, thank you for your
children, the Adams and the Eves of our day, thank you Lord for your goodness,
thank you for our today, our yesterday and the HOPE of our tomorrow. AMEN
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