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How Kiki lost her Groove
They have been married for about 15 years and between them, they have two lovely children, Omowale, a boy of 12 and Omotola, a girl of 8. Dan, 42 is a Geologist and worked with a reputable Oil Company in town while Kiki, 38 who trained an Educationist taught the Sciences in a High School. By the nature of Dan's job, he spent quite a great deal of his working time out of town and precisely on the field, mostly offshore. Kiki became a blessing to the family since by her own work schedule and as an Educationist, she spent quality time with the children. From Kiki's account, each time Dan was home to see them, he left them with indelible memories and in her words, Dan was an "adoring father" and a "wonderful husband". Also worthy of mention is the fact Kiki and the children lacked nothing in material terms for Dan provided their EVERY NEED. That was until one dark Monday when their world turned around and its bearing seemed to have been lost forever.
 

This was two years ago. Dan had visited home as usual but rather than fly in and out, he had the driver ahead of him while he flew in, the idea was to drive to see his parents on his return to base. Looking back, Kiki opined neither of them had any premonition of the danger of the darkest day of their marriage. Shortly after breakfast that Monday morning and with the kids already in school, Kiki held tightly to her husband, not letting go even as Dan re-assured her it was a matter of another fortnight and he'd be back. They kissed and bade each other goodbye

It was a bewildered Kiki that was called into the principal's office (at school) Tuesday afternoon to be told that Dan's car was involved in a bad crash, late Monday evening as they tried reaching base for work Tuesday morning. It was so bad that Dan, at the time of the report was unconscious with very little hope of survival while the driver died shortly after reaching hospital. This was the beginning of a bad dream for Kiki, especially but also for Dan and the children.

Dan's Company sprung into action and flew him overseas, he deserved and actually got the best, the very best. The good news came weeks after, the fears of non-survival finally burnt out on the burner, however, Dan had sustained severe injuries on his spines. He would be restrained to the wheel chair for the rest of his life. To family members and friends back home, that was a hope dashed but for Kiki who had been with him all this while and who, minute per minute, despite the re-assurances of the medical team had herself lived between being dead and being alive in her imagination, it was good news. She was also convinced beyond any doubts that Dan would have had next to no chances of making it at all had he remained back home. Ahead of Dan, Kiki got services of counseling from reputable professionals on the tasks ahead and despite the challenges, she was full of gratitude to God for saving her husband.

It was in this spirit that Kiki wrote her letter of appreciation to the Management of the hospital with details on specific helps from specific individuals who showed her and her husband so much love and kindness. "They were simply good", Kiki emphasized. According to her, a particular nurse, Sandra Wettermann was outstanding, not only to Dan but also to her (Kiki) and her welfare while out there. Shortly after, Kiki returned home.

Sandy, as she was particularly called was 42, a divorcee and a single parent of a 17 year old boy.

In the three months that Kiki was in Africa, counseling her children and trying to resettle them back in school before she'd return to be by her husband, the damage had been done. It was an effort before her husband saw reason on why she had to return to see him. When she finally arrived, she didn't need to be told what was going on. Sandra met her at the airport and on the drive back to Dan's supposedly rented apartment, she broke the news that Dan was actually living in her place. Once home and settled, Dan explained that with him, Kiki would be burdened for the rest of her life and he didn't want that. As for Sandra, she's only doing her job.

In the next week , and as she watched events roll by, it was obvious to Kiki that she was no match to Sandra in taking care of Dan. Despite this, she pleaded with Dan that she'd do her best to learn from Sandra as loving goes beyond clinical therapy. It was a fruitless effort and before long, she heard in more than words that she was overstaying.

She returned home in Nigeria with the news to both her family and Dan's and while letters were flying in and out, unknown to them, Dan had filed for a divorce. When the notice arrived, both families took it for granted, especially Dan's dad who asked that it be ignored. "..he is my son, he does as I command" he said. Before anyone knew it and with the absence and no-representation of Kiki at proceedings, the court granted Dan's desire for a divorce and this done, he formally married Sandra Wettermann. Today, about two years after, Dan's car crash that claimed the life of his driver, leaving him cripple, Dan and Kiki are divorced, Dan has re-married, to his therapist, Sandra Wettermann and Kiki is still nursing her wounds.

The children! After very careful considerations and so much counseling, Kiki bowed to pressure and the children now also live with their father and step mother overseas. They are doing very well and claim to get so much loving from Sandra, but yearn for their mother. Lately, for unwarranted fears, Kiki's phone calls to the house are no longer allowed, but thank God for emails.

Kiki's consolation today is in God. She still believes she'll have her husband back someday and so have gone ahead to buy books on how best to care for people in Dan's shoes. Her other hope is in her children. she believes it is only a matter of time, she'd have back her children. For now, without doubts, Kiki pains.

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Revised: 01/22/12 21:12:46 -0500.